random post 2

well..i've never been really serious in any of my posts so far..

okay..

here it goes..haha~

this week turned out to be quite teary ya know..

with all the hugging and everything

i've finally realised that school years are the best years in my life

cause i got to know a lot of things.,,

friendship..life and etc

i've been at the bottom and the top of my life

and i'm actually grateful form having been a student of SMAI

back when i was in Form 3(zaman jahiliyah kot)

umm..i used to say "sekolah tak menentukan siapa aku..i live on my own..my attitude us what defines me not my school"

but now,come to think of it..i'd say that i'm actually a fool.yeah.you read it right.a complete MORON!

haha~

i was stupid to not listen to what others said..

and i'm sorry for that..this has nothing to do with my coming SPM..it's about me.

i take everything i did when i was still clueless of what life is really like as reminders.

no pain no gain right?

i'm sorry cause i'm not that good as how you think i am

i'm trying my very best to change for the better..

it's sad for me to say goodbye to SMAI after being an IRSHADIAN for five years..

but life has to go on

i can't keep being stuck here..

i have a world to travel out there..

so pray for me..

my dream is to go to SOUTH KOREA..more specifically SEOUL

i dont know..i just fell in love with the country at first sight..

yeah.the first reason WAS because of KPOP..

but now,not anymore..

i want to prove to him that I CAN DO IT..

koreans are not all about eating samgyeobsal or going to toilets without washing

WHAT?even some MALAYSIANS do that okay??!

form the way i see it,you're just being too narrow-minded

not all koreans do that..okay?!

i don't get it why some people have to ridicule my dream of going there..or trying to learn hangul

even if i don't go there,hangul is a form of knowledge..you can't ridicule knowledge..

people keep saying that it's no use for you to go there

don't you understand?it's MY DREAM!

okay.fullstop.

A DOCTOR??NO!

i'm a fifth former

and am going to sit for SPM in two weeks time..

ohoho~~

okay.chill out.

i'm in a dilemma right now.yeah.you read it right.

DILEMMA.

what courses should i be taking?

meds?or engineering?or perhaps TESL?

I DON'T KNOW!

TESL?i can't even teach people right..

MEDS?

i've always been interested in forensics but everyone said that MALAYSIAN CSI sucks!

i am afraid of BLOOD..(thanks to my friend ~.~") but i think i can still manage that

i really love working with DNAs and you know,do ballistic tests and everything..

but..is it worth it?

CSI has been a great influence in my life.

i've been watching that series for almost ten years..

until i know every episode that has been broadcasted on AXN

call me a big fan:)

ENGINEERING?well,thanks to my mom and dad..

they both took EE.

and what i'm supposed to do?

i've been playing with broken PCs since i was little

i've been playing with that soldering tool since i was a kid

HAHAHA~am not bragging okay!

some people said,"kenapa nak langgar fitrah seorang perempuan?"

SAYA TAK LANGGAR OKAY!

SAYA CUMA MINAT SAJA!

haish..pening laaa~~

nak ambil apa ni?

i seriousy can't understand why all parents want their kids to be doctors.

hmmm..i'd just kill people if i become a doctor..

HAHAHA~

so??

BIG DREAMS

wow.gosh.and wow.
in just two days..i've made more than a post:)
hehe~
so far my trial results are 4 A+.but i won't be so sure bout that lah.gotta work harder:))


my mom did get the chance to play piano and  guitar back when she was a college student.
so i asked her what if i take music lessons?and she said..NO!
i respect her decision for i know a mom's words never fail to be true.
so i cancelled my dream of learning music and asked her what if i take language courses.
 "Of course i'm happy with that:)"
so i told her i'd be taking mandarin clasess and online korean language courses at the same time.maybe some french for dessert.haha
BIG DREAMS huh?like i said,i have big dreams and they are the ones keeping me alive till now:))

LOVE STORY?

PLAY THIS WHILE YA READ IT

would you say sorry if you could see my tears?

would you cry if you could hear my faint heartbeats?

would you fall on your knees if you could see what was in my mind all this time?

would you come back if you could hear my silent cries at night?

would you?

the truth is you wouldn't..

cause you're not that 'you' that I used to know

cause you're not here anymore

cause you've changed..

i still couldn't believe that the 'you' that I knew left me and died

i still couldn't believe the times I had with you were empty and meaningless

i still couldn't believe the memories we had together were gone..just like that

you said you loved me

you told me you cared for me

you promised me to never go away and leave me

but I knew that was all just a lie

breaking my heart into pieces

until i didn't know what a heart looked like anymore..

i foolishly waited for you..

i foolishly kept all our memories..

i foolishly cried over our never-existed-love

i was a fool for falling for you

'we' was never there in your life

it was just 'you' and 'I'

but I knew it was time for me to let go..

so i just wanna say my last goodbye.

have a happy life..be happy with her

i won't miss you anymore..

and the heartbeat machine went dead

and the doctors went crazy

and the empty love story ended just like that..

love stories aren't like any fairy tales..

fairy tales have happy endings all the time

but love stories seldom have..

-THE WRITER-

BE GRATEFUL

i try to let my emotions flow through this pen i'm holding

i try to let my mind wander to places and moments i've never had nor went

i try to understand what other people go through

but my heart wont try to comprehend

i've got my own story that often people ignore

that often people would say they dont have a minute to even listen to it

i wonder why people cant do the same for me

am i a fool or am i just too caring?

tell me.

i wonder why people sometimes ignore the good times they have

am i sentimental or am i just too loving?

tell me.

i wonder why some people question what they have

and hope for things they dont have

am i possesive or am i just grateful?

tell me again

i dont have a happy family 

but i'm happy to still have a great mom.

i dont have a big house 

but i'm happy to still have a place to live.

i dont eat expensive food

but i'm happy to still have something to eat everyday

i dont have good looks

but i'm happy to be a normal girl

i sigh when you say you hate yourself

what more do you need?

WHAT IF??

what if..

aren't you scared of that cursed two words?

only at this moment in time

will i confess that i have always been scared of them

why?

cause what if i tell you that i'm not as good as how you think i am,

what would you do?

would you accept me back and act like  nothing happens?

or would you leave and never forgive me?

what if i tell you how much you mean to me,

would you feel the same for me?

or would you just say that i'm no more than a friend?

what if i tell you i love you,

would you still be with me or would you rather walk away from me?

what if ..what if..and what if..

RHB NST SPELL IT RIGHT 2011 PENANG STATE CHALLENGE

wow!it was tiring mentally and physically:P


well,,of course i didn't win.why would a dummy like me win?i couldn't even spell the word CONCIERGE right.DUMMY!if not i'll be the 2nd finalist and get RM200!!wuu~what to do?i guess there's no luck for me this year.haha


well,yesterday was SPORTS day.as usually,YELLOW TEAM won!HIP HIP HURRAY!
enjoyed it very much!except for the tug-of-war part!we should've won ya know!grr~it's okay.let bygone be bygone.


too tired but still had to go to 1st Avenue Mall for the competition.


i got number 015.the 2nd batch.itw as scary.i was lucky to meet Sharon,a F2 student from Chung Hwa Confusion.she started it first.me?i was shy(yeah~you're lying!) she was nice and cute.she was like WHAT? whn i told her i am a fifth former.hahaha..i wished her goodluck and we got on the stage.i could see from her face she was dead nervous.heck like i wasn't.


passed Round 1.the word was MORPH.


Round 2,there was only me and an Indian kid from High School.at first,we both got the words wrongy spelt.but then i got the word 'CONCIERGE' wrongly spelt.i spelled it CONCEARGE!dummy!


she got the word right so she went to the finals.oh my!!!!i was like"it should've been ME up there on the stage with the mock cheque smiling like i was the queen of the world.but yeah,i am a dummy.no wonder i didn't get to the finals.


anyway,congrats winners!i loitered around the mall and looked at IT stores and i found some  INTEL posters with SNSD on them!i was like OKAY,I HAVE TO GET HOLD OF THAT POSTERS!so i made a plan:i'll ask the cashier to give me one of those posters when i buy something from her shop.i did buy something but the poster was not given.hahaha~stupid!