aku memang pendiam.
aku lebih suka pegi kedai buku book fair or tempat yg tak ramai org dan tak bising dan tak menyakitkan hati.
aku lebih suka avoid awkward situations like pegi kem,seminar,jumpa senior,jumpa owner rumah sebab nnt ak tak tahu nak cakap apa-- bukannya aku tak suka depa ni.
aku lebih suka jalan sorang2 pi mana2 sebab takut susahkan orang lain.kot la depa tak suka tempat yang aku pi ka depa rasa buang masa ka depa rasa ada benda lagi best dari tu haha.
aku takut gelap hujan snow guruh lipas cacing kucing yg suka gigit.
aku tak suka makan sayoq tak suka pedas tapi boleh telan lagi la kalau terpaksa.
aku sangat tak suka pink kecuali yg berkaitan dgn snsd.aku sangat tak suka pakai baju kurung or dress or anything yg feminine.tak bermaksud aku suka baju lelaki.aku cuma suka baju yang menampakkan aku mcm tough,simple or relaxed.sbb aku ni org yg sgt lemah sebenarnya.ini cuma trick saja.kalau pakai bj kurung tak boleh nak lari haha.alasan.
aku sgt suka chocolate coffee takoyaki burgers aiskrimmmmm limau pisang tembikai kacang cereals~
aku sgt suka snsd and beware kalau nak kutuk depa depan aku.mohon beli insurans dulu ya.
aku sangat benci heels sebab tak baik utk tulang belakang lagipun kalau snow or nak turun bukit kat korea sgt la tak sesuai.
aku sangat benci org yg suka buat aku rasa lonely or tak reti nak ckp i feel you bro~ or at least agree dgn aku.tapi kalau lepas agree,kau nak bash aku silakan la.aku tak kisah.
aku sangat takut darah sekian sebab trauma lepas tolong cucikan luka kawan akuyg terkena iron.ngeri~
aku sangat sensitip bab parents, family, divorce ,poligami, tanggungjawab anak sulung dan hutang.
au sangat tak suka hutang dengan kawan.kalau hutang dgn parents takpa sbb nnt aku mmg nak bayaq balik tapi kalau bayaq balik pun sampai bila tak cukup haha.
aku sgt pemboros or generous or both kot.aku tak kisah nak belanja org tapi lepas ada masalah duit ni aku makin kedekut sikit kot sbb malu la nak pinjam duit kat org.
aku sgt suka tgk movie.haha.harry potter hunger games transformers or anything yg ad action robot fantasy dan sebagainya.
aku sgt tak suka tgk cerita hantu,mohon maaf.
aku sgt suka membaca.esp novel english.novel melayu pun ramlee awang murshid ja yg aku baca sb dia thriller psikologi ada banyak pengetahuan baru.aku sanggup habiskan duit utk beli buku dan sgt marah kalau org pinjam tapi koyakkan or tak reti jaga buku2 aku.
aku sgt pantang org ckp bahasa lain dpn aku n then gelak ramai2 dpn aku.
aku sangat berterima kasih to org2 yg tolong aku masa susah.
Aku takut
Jangan biasakan mulut pandai berjanji pandai memujuk.
Ini spesies orang paling aku tak tahan.
Aku memang boleh sabar,boleh memaafkan,boleh tolak ansur
Tapi aku juga manusia.
Even the nicest people have their limits.
Aku tak nak jadi macam dulu lagi.
Aku jadi takut sebab setiap orang yang aku sayang semuanya pergi.
Ayah,atuk,kawan yang aku sangka kawan baik aku tapi rupanya tak.
Aku takut..
Tapi aku mengaku aku yang salah.
MONOPHOBIA
I just don't know how to explain this to them.That I have monophobia.
I just knew it too anyway.
It's scary just having thoughts that I have to be alone.
When i go home and there's no one,I'm so scared up to the extent of crying.
I had a fight with my best friend a few months ago and we're still not okay till today.
She made me feel safe and when she was around,I felt as if nothing could hurt me.
This phobia explained why I felt so lonely when we fought.
I felt as if wherever I go,pain and harm is lurking in every corner.
And now I found a new best friend.
We're going to the same university.I'm happy.I feel safe already.
But we're of different scholarships.
And some say that we can't stay together.I'm scared already.
I just knew it too anyway.
It's scary just having thoughts that I have to be alone.
When i go home and there's no one,I'm so scared up to the extent of crying.
I had a fight with my best friend a few months ago and we're still not okay till today.
She made me feel safe and when she was around,I felt as if nothing could hurt me.
This phobia explained why I felt so lonely when we fought.
I felt as if wherever I go,pain and harm is lurking in every corner.
And now I found a new best friend.
We're going to the same university.I'm happy.I feel safe already.
But we're of different scholarships.
And some say that we can't stay together.I'm scared already.
i hate seniority
I didn't remember applying for a janitor or a cleaner position apart from applying for my JPA.
Or did I?
The idea of being the youngest therefore you must help the ajks clean the place after every event is and shall remain the WORST IDEA OR TRADITION THAT HAS BEEN MADE BY HUMANS IN SOUTH KOREA.
The idea of making better community by forcing the juniors to abide by your every rule and nonsense traditions while you yourself aren't even trying to do so is so =="
You were the ones who said, "Be matured than your age.Please grow up.You're not babies."
But it seemed today you were more childish than us.
How can such things be allowed to happen?
If you say that only a few of us are like that,then i can say the same thing for my fellow friends.
You are a bad senior and a bad example to us.
After going through comments made by seniors on this issue,I've decided it's all part of a misunderstanding.
BUT ..
You shouldn't make the group as a place for you to spit out your insatisfactory.
First of all why post in a group where there are so many seniors?
To embarass our batch?To make us look small?
To gain support from your fellow friends?
That is so lame.
I admit that some of my batchmates were impolite by not helping the seniors to mop the floor and all.
But again,who spilt it should be the one mopping it and not leaving it to the ajks or juniors.
So siapa yg tumpahkan tu patut rasa bersalah nak mampus sebab kau dah spark war between us.
Orang tengok batch aku mcm kitorang ni tak pernah pegi sekolah belajar adab membuang sampah dan tolong menolong which is really sakai.
Lagipun menolong kerana terpaksa dan takut senior,itu kan hipokrit sial.
Lagipun kaki tangan ada sendiri angkat la.Yang senior pun dah makan longgok kat belakang tu sapa ajar?!
And comments saying that we are childish,I think I've seen far more childish acts from the seniors than my batchmates.Habis tu nak suruh aku duduk diam tak cakap apa2 accept everything macam orang bodoh?
Baik aku buat surgery pegi buang otak.Memang betul tu nasihat but only the first part of it.Yg belakang tu dah melalut pasal juniors kena buat semua kerja la apa la.Setakat tak ikut ikrar junior tu aku tak takut pun sebab tu ikrar manusia bukan janji dgn Tuhan.Now that part yg buat aku marah.Aku datang nak belajar bukan nak hidup dalam komuniti yang terlalu mementingkan seniority.
Lagi satu,alasan nak mengajar thru this kind of tradition is so lame.Aku pergi sekolah menengah pun ada benda ni.From my experience,kau buat macam tu lagi la junior taknak dengar cakap lagi la diorg benci kau.Seriously,aku trauma dgn korang.Aku seriously patah hati dan terkilan dgn pilihan korang yg memilih kekerasan as a better way to educate us.Aku tak boleh nak respek korang lepas tu.Aku kecewa sbb korang memilih utk tidak mengubah tradisi ni.
Korea mmg tempat best tp lg best kalau all this fucked up seniority issue tak ada.
Or did I?
The idea of being the youngest therefore you must help the ajks clean the place after every event is and shall remain the WORST IDEA OR TRADITION THAT HAS BEEN MADE BY HUMANS IN SOUTH KOREA.
The idea of making better community by forcing the juniors to abide by your every rule and nonsense traditions while you yourself aren't even trying to do so is so =="
You were the ones who said, "Be matured than your age.Please grow up.You're not babies."
But it seemed today you were more childish than us.
How can such things be allowed to happen?
If you say that only a few of us are like that,then i can say the same thing for my fellow friends.
You are a bad senior and a bad example to us.
After going through comments made by seniors on this issue,I've decided it's all part of a misunderstanding.
BUT ..
You shouldn't make the group as a place for you to spit out your insatisfactory.
First of all why post in a group where there are so many seniors?
To embarass our batch?To make us look small?
To gain support from your fellow friends?
That is so lame.
I admit that some of my batchmates were impolite by not helping the seniors to mop the floor and all.
But again,who spilt it should be the one mopping it and not leaving it to the ajks or juniors.
So siapa yg tumpahkan tu patut rasa bersalah nak mampus sebab kau dah spark war between us.
Orang tengok batch aku mcm kitorang ni tak pernah pegi sekolah belajar adab membuang sampah dan tolong menolong which is really sakai.
Lagipun menolong kerana terpaksa dan takut senior,itu kan hipokrit sial.
Lagipun kaki tangan ada sendiri angkat la.Yang senior pun dah makan longgok kat belakang tu sapa ajar?!
And comments saying that we are childish,I think I've seen far more childish acts from the seniors than my batchmates.Habis tu nak suruh aku duduk diam tak cakap apa2 accept everything macam orang bodoh?
Baik aku buat surgery pegi buang otak.Memang betul tu nasihat but only the first part of it.Yg belakang tu dah melalut pasal juniors kena buat semua kerja la apa la.Setakat tak ikut ikrar junior tu aku tak takut pun sebab tu ikrar manusia bukan janji dgn Tuhan.Now that part yg buat aku marah.Aku datang nak belajar bukan nak hidup dalam komuniti yang terlalu mementingkan seniority.
Lagi satu,alasan nak mengajar thru this kind of tradition is so lame.Aku pergi sekolah menengah pun ada benda ni.From my experience,kau buat macam tu lagi la junior taknak dengar cakap lagi la diorg benci kau.Seriously,aku trauma dgn korang.Aku seriously patah hati dan terkilan dgn pilihan korang yg memilih kekerasan as a better way to educate us.Aku tak boleh nak respek korang lepas tu.Aku kecewa sbb korang memilih utk tidak mengubah tradisi ni.
Korea mmg tempat best tp lg best kalau all this fucked up seniority issue tak ada.
Thank You
I have a Christian roommate but hey,that didn't stop us from becoming best friends.
So tonight,she started telling me stories of how her leaders became who they are today.
And somehow,all of them had something similar with me.
Father problems.
Except that my father doesn't drink.
So we talked about a lot of things until I just couldn't keep it anymore.
I started crying.
Thank you Ruth for always being there for me.
I don't care about the difference in our religion.
My religion is mine and yours is yours.
What matters is you are my best friend.
Fotografizophobia
한국에 와서 물론 한국어 실력이 늘었지만 영어와 말레이어는 ...ㅠㅠ
나 어느 나라 사람이야???
siapa yang paham,paham la ehehe
anyways,hari ni tangkap gambar graduation.
it was supposed to be taken next february but teachers said it might be too cold for us to even go outside so they took it today.
i was happy because hey,that was my first time wearing ..em..idk how to say it haha^^"
but,i felt this strange feeling.
i felt like a lost kid.
people were busy taking pictures of them wearing robes and all
but i was just standing there,scanning.
"What am i doing here?"
I was scared.Of photographs.
They're remnants of my past.They remind me of things I've done and the fun times I've had.
But they also remind me of the people that used to be with me and the sad times.
That hurts.
I just don't wanna go near that again.
I had GAD on Sunday but there were 2 or 3 pictures of it in my phone and nothing else.
I was surprised at how much I'e changed.
I didn't imagine that it'd be this bad.
나 어느 나라 사람이야???
siapa yang paham,paham la ehehe
anyways,hari ni tangkap gambar graduation.
it was supposed to be taken next february but teachers said it might be too cold for us to even go outside so they took it today.
i was happy because hey,that was my first time wearing ..em..idk how to say it haha^^"
but,i felt this strange feeling.
i felt like a lost kid.
people were busy taking pictures of them wearing robes and all
but i was just standing there,scanning.
"What am i doing here?"
I was scared.Of photographs.
They're remnants of my past.They remind me of things I've done and the fun times I've had.
But they also remind me of the people that used to be with me and the sad times.
That hurts.
I just don't wanna go near that again.
I had GAD on Sunday but there were 2 or 3 pictures of it in my phone and nothing else.
I was surprised at how much I'e changed.
I didn't imagine that it'd be this bad.
tunggu saya ya umi^^
Pernah tak mimpi pasal mak kau pergi?
Pergi tinggalkan kau selama-lamanya.
Aku pernah.
Dan aku akan terjaga sambil menangis.
Takut kan?
Mungkin kau paling sayang ayah kau,atau mungkin dua2.
Tapi aku sayang mak aku lebih dari ayah aku.
Jadi kalau mak aku pergi dulu,
aku ..tak sanggup bayangkan.
aku tak tahu apa aku akan buat..
aku tak sanggup bayang pun..
Cuma aku selalu minta,
jangan la ambil mak aku dulu.
ambil aku dulu.
sebab adik2 aku masih muda,masih kecil,masih perlukan mak..
kalau mak aku pergi dulu,siapa nak jaga adik2 aku?
sejak datang sini,aku rindukan mak aku sangat2.
dulu dapat la balik sebulan sekali kadang2 dua minggu sekali
dapat la tengok muka mak aku.
tapi sekarang tunggu la setahun setengah baru dapat tengok.
sekarang pun tengah menghitung hari bila boleh balik.
nak peluk cium mak aku puas2.
umi,tunggu aisyah ya^^
Pergi tinggalkan kau selama-lamanya.
Aku pernah.
Dan aku akan terjaga sambil menangis.
Takut kan?
Mungkin kau paling sayang ayah kau,atau mungkin dua2.
Tapi aku sayang mak aku lebih dari ayah aku.
Jadi kalau mak aku pergi dulu,
aku ..tak sanggup bayangkan.
aku tak tahu apa aku akan buat..
aku tak sanggup bayang pun..
Cuma aku selalu minta,
jangan la ambil mak aku dulu.
ambil aku dulu.
sebab adik2 aku masih muda,masih kecil,masih perlukan mak..
kalau mak aku pergi dulu,siapa nak jaga adik2 aku?
sejak datang sini,aku rindukan mak aku sangat2.
dulu dapat la balik sebulan sekali kadang2 dua minggu sekali
dapat la tengok muka mak aku.
tapi sekarang tunggu la setahun setengah baru dapat tengok.
sekarang pun tengah menghitung hari bila boleh balik.
nak peluk cium mak aku puas2.
umi,tunggu aisyah ya^^
SNSD Collection^^
I'm bored.
THEREFORE I SHALL POST ABOUT MY SNSD ALBUM COLLECTION^^
and NO,THIS IS NOT THE REASON WHY I RAN OUT OF MONEY.
BLAME THOSE TOTAL TWO FACES AND INGRATES!
I'm never gonna be nice to them again.I've learnt my lesson.
So far,I have
-2011 Girls Generation Tour DVD
-2011 Girls Generation Tour CD (I bought this by mistake--)
-Girls Generation 1st Asia Tour (Into The New World)
-The Boys (which I left it in Malaysia)
-Twinkle (Which I left it in Malaysia)
-SNSD 1st Japanese Photobook (It is freakin large,it's heavier than my Physics textbook--)
-SNSD Postcards Set (I Got A Boy)
-SNSD Hoot
Photocards-Taeyeon (Twinkle),Seohyun (The Boys),Jessica (Hoot)
And I am planning to collect all albums before I finish my studies here^^ Slowly of course.
THEREFORE I SHALL POST ABOUT MY SNSD ALBUM COLLECTION^^
and NO,THIS IS NOT THE REASON WHY I RAN OUT OF MONEY.
BLAME THOSE TOTAL TWO FACES AND INGRATES!
I'm never gonna be nice to them again.I've learnt my lesson.
So far,I have
-2011 Girls Generation Tour DVD
-2011 Girls Generation Tour CD (I bought this by mistake--)
-Girls Generation 1st Asia Tour (Into The New World)
-The Boys (which I left it in Malaysia)
-Twinkle (Which I left it in Malaysia)
-SNSD 1st Japanese Photobook (It is freakin large,it's heavier than my Physics textbook--)
Photocards-Taeyeon (Twinkle),Seohyun (The Boys),Jessica (Hoot)
And I am planning to collect all albums before I finish my studies here^^ Slowly of course.
Fix my brain please?
Wow.What a tough life I just had.
And yes,it's all because of money.
I don't know what went wrong.
Guess I should stop being so nice and buying birthday gifts for people who don't really deserve them..
Ugh I hate it when I get weakened by these total two faces.
I don't know what's wrong with my head.
Fix it please.
And yes,it's all because of money.
I don't know what went wrong.
Guess I should stop being so nice and buying birthday gifts for people who don't really deserve them..
Ugh I hate it when I get weakened by these total two faces.
I don't know what's wrong with my head.
Fix it please.
I love my batch.
Well,I AM MAD NOW.
But not for nothing.
I still respect you though.
Aku tak tahu kenapa sejak dulu lagi people have been saying Batch 1994 mmg bermasalah la lain la pelik la apa la..
HEY but in the end these people were the ones coming back to us "HEY,CONGRATULATIONS!YOU MADE US PROUD!"
THIS IS PURE CRAP!
I still remember the looks on their faces when we broke the record for UPSR PMR & SPM.
They were dumbfounded.They stammered.
WHOA I love that feeling man!
Hey we came here not for nothing.We came here because we damn sure deserved it.
You think I did nothing to get all this?
I even fought with my father to come here and you think I'm joking?!
I say we wait and see.
I won't let anyone ridicule my friends,my batch,my family.
I'm hurt.
There are a lot more seniors who smoke than our batch does anyway.They drink,they absorb those bad Korean cultures and you say we're different in a bad way?
BOOHOO~
I'm proud of my batch and I won't trade it for anything else.
Mark my words.We're the ones who'll change everything.
But not for nothing.
I still respect you though.
Aku tak tahu kenapa sejak dulu lagi people have been saying Batch 1994 mmg bermasalah la lain la pelik la apa la..
HEY but in the end these people were the ones coming back to us "HEY,CONGRATULATIONS!YOU MADE US PROUD!"
THIS IS PURE CRAP!
I still remember the looks on their faces when we broke the record for UPSR PMR & SPM.
They were dumbfounded.They stammered.
WHOA I love that feeling man!
Hey we came here not for nothing.We came here because we damn sure deserved it.
You think I did nothing to get all this?
I even fought with my father to come here and you think I'm joking?!
I say we wait and see.
I won't let anyone ridicule my friends,my batch,my family.
I'm hurt.
There are a lot more seniors who smoke than our batch does anyway.They drink,they absorb those bad Korean cultures and you say we're different in a bad way?
BOOHOO~
I'm proud of my batch and I won't trade it for anything else.
Mark my words.We're the ones who'll change everything.
AWESOME ONE WEEK
That one week was AWESOME!
Went to a lot of amazing palces.
First i went to Busan:)
Hoyeah the home to some famous Kpop artists and bla3 :3
SEAFOOD,we didn't really get to eat much cos it's freakin expensive!
Went to Busan Aquarium,Haeundae Beach,Gwangan Beach,Diamond Bridge,Gamcheon Cultural Village,Dongbaek Island,.
Of all the places I've been to,I reallllyyyyy liked Busan Aquarium:)
It was nice seeing all those sea creatures^^
Next I went to Namsan Tower at night:)
Got to put locks there for my family~
And went to Teddy Bear Museum~^^
Next I went to Everland,amusement park baby~
I puked in the end ahahah~
Poor Aisyatun^^"
Sorry for all the trouble:p
And the end~
Went to a lot of amazing palces.
First i went to Busan:)
Hoyeah the home to some famous Kpop artists and bla3 :3
SEAFOOD,we didn't really get to eat much cos it's freakin expensive!
Went to Busan Aquarium,Haeundae Beach,Gwangan Beach,Diamond Bridge,Gamcheon Cultural Village,Dongbaek Island,.
Of all the places I've been to,I reallllyyyyy liked Busan Aquarium:)
It was nice seeing all those sea creatures^^
Next I went to Namsan Tower at night:)
Got to put locks there for my family~
And went to Teddy Bear Museum~^^
Next I went to Everland,amusement park baby~
I puked in the end ahahah~
Poor Aisyatun^^"
Sorry for all the trouble:p
And the end~
Put the blame on me.
I was thinking about you,
thinking about me,
thinking about us.
What went wrong?
We could've been bestfriends forever but maybe it's all just a dream.
Is this guilt or am i really missing everything we had?
Tell me,friend.
I want to know how you feel.
Do you feel happy?
You're tougher than me,so maybe you'd move on.
Leaving me alone,still trying to grasp the situation.
Pity me.Pity us.
In the end we both know
How it should be.
You can put the blame on me.
Just like how Akon says.